I’ve realized I have been watching a lot of slice of life movies where the character just graduate high school or college not being able to get a job so they have to move back into their parents’ house who give them shitty advice & no real help. That is so me right now! It sucks! In the end though these characters make it work out for them. Maybe I need to wait till that time comes but it is taking way too damn long!!! #stressedout

Ok I know I sound way too melodramatic for one person but it’s just been hard lately. I mean you can say oh Ayisah your life is pretty great you have a great family your parents/sister still let you live with them, don’t have any bills to pay, no debt or student loans your straight which if you look at it that way that’s true my life is pretty sweet. But take the other half of my life the shitty part. So for the past year and a half I have been unemployed. At first it was awesome because I had just come off of a very stressful job and need a break. I starting getting more full time with school and for the summer it was pretty nice. I got to take two trips last year and visit a friend from AmeriCorps I haven’t seen in a while and it was good. Then the fall came and the winter and the spring and the summer and now the winter again as its progressing my life has shittier and shitter. My sister has threatened to kick me out so many times since I moved in I’ve lost count. When she finally did kick me out I was forced to live with my niece in Richmond, VA which lasted all of a month (off and on) until I got kicked out of there. Ok again I am kind of exaggerating but really though every 20-something goes through this at least once in their life. I am feeling it right now. I mean yes I defiantly have played a part in the way I feel I take totally take responsibility for it but it still sucks.
Back to the movies though and how I see them correlating to my life.

This summer I watched this movie called Post Grad with Alexis Biedel the girl from Gilmore Girls & Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants who is this 22 year old college graduate who wants to work for this book company but doesn’t get the job so she has to move home. She also has this friend who is in love with her but she is not in love with (which I can relate to but that’s another story). She on her way to moving home her car breaks down so she is forced to take cabs, buses, & bikes to interviews something else I can relate too. Things for her just seem like they’re not looking up and her family is not helping at all. Now her family like most families are just weird and as much as your parents try to help you and make sure your good they don’t always give the best advice although they mean well. I have been going through this my parents are that way but they have to realize that in the end we will figure it out on our own. Anyway in the end Alexis character ends up getting her dream job but it doesn’t make her happy anymore so she moves from California to New York to be with her best friend who she realizes she fell in love with.

Another slice of life move I watched yesterday was Adult World which is a little crazy but still a good representation of life for a 20-something year old. So this movie stars Emma Roberts in a pretty weird role for her but then again not really. So she just graduated college and wants to be a poet. She can’t find a job so she has to move back home with her parents. She goes around trying to find a job nobody wants her so she sees this help wanted sign in this store. She goes in and this little old couple and this guy interviews her and says she’s got the job and everything’s cool until Emma’s character realizes that the place is a porn shop. At first she runs out with the sign disgusted but then she realizes that she is not going to find anything else so goes back. She starts working there and her first day her car gets stolen after meeting one of her favorite author. She then meets this drag queen and takes the bus with them to her house. Once Emma gets home her parents go off on her for using all their money sending publishers her work and not paying her student loans. So she takes things into her own hands and packs a bag and goes to the drag queens place. Basically a long story short she lives with the drag queen for a while and stocks this author. Then she eventually moves into a place with one of her college friends in a place right next door to the author. Eventually she starts working for this author and gets a big head and in the end realizes that her work sucks and that she needs to have more life experiences to write better. She ends up falling in love with her co-worker at the porn shop and he ends up showing her the weird side of life. Oh and she also summits a story to an erotic magazine and gets published. I think what I took from this movie is to take chances with life and to live because as a fellow writer journalist you have to have substance for your writing to be good.

I also watched yesterday a movie from my childhood from when I was like 12 a Disney Channel movie called Stuck in the Suburbs. It’s the story of a girl name a teenager Brittney obsessed with this pop star and lives in the suburbs in an average mundane town where nothing happens and she dreams of something more. So when the new girl in town Natasha rolls in Brittney gets excited as Natasha seems worldly and cool. Until Jordan the pop star comes to town and accidently ends up with Brittney’s phone while she has his. So she and Natasha help Jorden who is a lonely pop star who is unhappy where his career is going get back to reality by changing up his life. In the process though Brittney’s life gets turned upside down in the realization that out there is not as great as where you are now your home town your own slice of suburbia. This movie all though I saw it when I was 12 and now watching it when I am 24 it still holds how I feel about life. Living in the suburbs all my life it can be boring and feel like nothing interesting is ever going to happen but then I can also feel the lesson of the movie that where you live is not always so bad and it can be a good thing depending on how you look at a situation.

In the end of each of these movies the main character always makes their way out of their crisis happy with a new look on life. They end up a job, a boyfriend or just a new found since of self. This is something I wanna do find myself, figure out my life, not feel so alone and be happy. But I just feel blah.
I just turned 24 last month and still no job, little social life and kind of a bleak outlook on life right now. There are days I feel I am drowning in self pity.

I think I’ve hit rock bottom when I sit at home on the weekends watching cartoons and when I go a week without changing my clothes just sitting around watching life pass me by. Looking at Facebook every day at people’s happy lives, my former classmates with their jobs, kids and husbands all at 24. I’m in a serious rut and I hate it. That’s probably why I watch these movies because they’re relatable to me as they are going through what I am.

Here is my 20-something crisis playlist:

Anyway good people till next time stay positive it gets better…